Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
