Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
