I cockslap morals
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
