That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
