So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
