let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
