FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
