I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
