i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
