awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
