i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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