Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
