mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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