do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
