i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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