Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize