i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
