The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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