brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize