at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
