some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize