Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize