So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
