where am i from again
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im six kinds of drunk right now
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
