I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
