I haven't been this sober since birth.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
