I looked at my own cervix.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
