And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize