Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
