Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize