I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
