Kiss
Puke
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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