Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I had to cum in my sink.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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