I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
