i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
