I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How external is "for external use only"?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
