Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
