That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
