Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
