That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
