out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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