Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
