Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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