I'm so fucking centered right now
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
