Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
