i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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