Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
