the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
