i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
