There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
