the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
