I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
