hotel room ftw
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
