"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
