Dual....:-)
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
