Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What a dumb baby whore.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
