It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
BRING THE BAGELS
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
