they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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