.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
