and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
