Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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